WHY THIS BLOG?

I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun, reviews of favorite shows, and true stories that will make you laugh out loud (or run screaming...I don't know you well enough to predict your behavior). You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and most definitely a generous helping of hyperbole, with a dollop of facetiousness.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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Sunday, May 21, 2017

OUTLANDER SEASON 3 (& 4,5...etc...): 3 Major Missing Facts & 3 Additions That Will Cause A Fandom Meltdown

The upcoming season(s) will be bittersweet. Something like lemon rind coated with chocolate.

Starz molds and shapes Outlander like PlayDoh, so it is no surprise that among the various adaptation changes (plot/event removals and additions) there will be things missing or added to Season 3 and the upcoming Seasons.

So...these are the Top 3 things that are/will-be missing, and the Top 3 most radical additions...that I, to be frank, love. *wink*



SADLY MISSING

1) BRIANNA WILL NEVER KNOW HER NAME WAS ALWAYS PRONOUNCED WRONG



When Jamie sees Brianna's picture for the first time when Claire returns, he is told her name and says 'What a terrible name for a lass!' or something even worse, and Claire is obviously indignant and angry and reminds him that HE asked for the baby to have his father's name...and since she couldn't call the child Brian, she morphed it into Brianna with the same 'pronunciation'!

Jamie then realizes the problem and says "Oh... I see, then it's supposed to be pronounced 'Bree-ana. Not so bad then." in a conversation a little better written than that in the book.....and we then realize that from the minute we meet Bree, should have been called Brian-ah. That would have been fun to see.
*sadly grabs a scoop of pink 'LGBT Yum' ice-cream to make a Consolation Cone to feel better*



2) JAMIE CANNOT BE SHOCKED BY BREE'S HEIGHT

I know that casting can rarely, if ever, find perfect replicas of book characters as actors and we must use our imaginations to make up for the shortfall (pardon the pun) BUT, in this case, I am going to miss how Brianna initially thinks Jamie 'isn't as big as she thought he'd be', and then Jamie's first REAL words to Brianna after she introduced herself  "You're huge!" 

The ensuing hug that makes her feel like a wee lass in her father's massive arms would have been a 10 Boxer. (Rating from 1 box of Kleenex to 10)

Oh...and also, now Jamie can't give this to Bree as 'Nice Ta Meecha' gift he made by hand:



*sadly adds a vanilla scoop of 'White Ice Matters' ice-cream to the Consolation Cone*



3) NO MORE SCARS FOR JAMIE

Claire comes back as a Plastic Surgeon and in an Episode titled  'Out(lander) Patient Procedure', Claire removes the scarring on Jamie back and makes it all masculine and ripped like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Here is a leaked photo of the new back:



The decision to do this drastic change was dual-purposed:

1) the prosthetics used to make Jamie's war-torn back was time-consuming and expensive so it was a financial consideration and 
2) who doesn't like a manly-man back? A few more buckets of drool won't hurt anyone...

Personally, I liked the scars...they were so Jackson Pollack.
*sadly adds a green scoop of `The Full Minty' ice cream to the Consolation Cone*





INTERESTINGLY ADDED

1) BREE WILL GRADUATE BEFORE FRANK DIES

In the books, Frank dies in a icy road accident in his pyjamas after fighting with Claire in which she tears his heart to shreds (a most undignified way to die for someone like Frank...a warrior of a man who survived untold (literally, untold) adversity for years, just weeks away from Brianna graduating high school at age 17).                     
               *cries into a lace hanky engraved with the initials 'FWR"*

Happily, for TeamFrank (and my fellow Frankettes), pre-season 3 clips and still shots show Frank and Claire sweetly together, applauding Brianna as she graduates! SO...one can safely assume Starz MagicDust has been sprinkled and Frank gets to be happy for another full 30 seconds of the entire series! Yay!

I`ll take it...and smile through my tears. I hope more MagicDust is available to allow Frank a more dignified and deservingly heroic death on the screen. Diana DOES call him the Tragic Hero of the story...so... *crosses fingers*




2) THE REASON THE BOOKS FRANK WROTE HAVE NEVER BEEN READ

Diana has dropped hints lately that we should be wondering why the books Frank wrote were never discussed anywhere, or seemed to have not been read at all! Good question....so what is hidden in his writings that tell us 'WHAT DID FRANK KNOW?`, the spontaneous title DG gave a potential Frank Book should there ever be one. 

I, however, already noticed why his books were never perused. See if you can find it too in the photo below. Take your time and pack a lunch...you'll be Where's Waldo?-ing it for hours...
*click to enlarge


3) A MIND BLOWING TWIST OF A CLIFF HANGER

At the end of the last season, it has been leaked to the media that Diana and Ron Moore have been so impressed and amazed by the superb acting skills of Tobias Menzies, that a complete re-write of the entire ending of the series is due to be completed in 2020 and it will be revealed that FRANK is really Brianna's father and NOT Jamie!

It will be explained that Frank was given the wrong Sterility Report (he got a rich grocery chain owner's report who had just married his 6th and much younger wife who wanted a Trust Fund Baby to ensure her future income) and didn't know he could father a child. Claire, with fresh sperm in her fallopian tubes, tumbled through the Stones 'magically' and whilst doing so, Frank's Little Soldiers were `frozen` in time but thawed and did their duty just before Jamie's Squiggly Lads could get to the somewhat dizzy and bewildered egg that simply didn`t travel well at all! Time Travel can be tricky...

This Ultimate Shocker will stun everyone except die hard Franks Fans like me, who always questioned why Claire and Jamie have blue eyes but Brianna and Frank...well...see for yourself:



I'd say the 'eyes' have it. *winks and slaps a scoop of 'Chocolate Orgasm' ice cream atop her Celebration Cone*



**


UMMMM...just so you know, only 3 of the 6 above are true. See if you know which ones they are...
*lick...grin*

4 comments:

  1. Very twisted tongue in cheek! Loved it.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Alma Lou! Always happy to give away some smiles...

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  2. You've completely stumped me this early Monday morn'.....Frank is such a strong personality, I just don't know where Ron is going to take his final season. I'm hoping to also find out what's in his books. Some oo7 info about Claires parents deaths would be a zinger. I'm hoping he's going to see his end in sexy pj's & screaming Denise's name.��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great-Grandma: You hade me at 'screaming Denise's name...'

      Delete

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