WHY THIS BLOG?

I AM PARCA'S CHOSEN:
Parca is the Roman Goddess of Childbirth and Destiny and after you get to know me, you will see why I believe she has, without doubt, made me her Poster Child. I deal with the odd serious issue but for the most part, my posts are just some cheeky fun, reviews of favorite shows, and true stories that will make you laugh out loud (or run screaming...I don't know you well enough to predict your behavior). You'll find satire with the odd parody tossed in....and definitely a heaping helping of hyperbole.

I am Canadian so expect a bit of politeness too. Sorry.

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Thursday, December 2, 2010

DARTH VADER CHEWBACCA JONES? WHY NOT?

Speaking of names...

Do you know where you’d be if you saw this list of given names? (no surnames added):
Daisy Boo
Zowie
Poppy Honey
Camera
Seven Sirius
Puma
Diva Muffin
Blue Angel
Jermajesty
Moon Unit
Dweezil
Rufus Tiger
Tiger Lily
Sailor
Kal-el (*Superman’s birth name)
Fifi Trixibelle
Little Pixie
Peaches Honeyblossom
Ever Gabo
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
Banjo
Free
Spec Wildhorse
Rumer
Moxie Crimefighter
Pilot Inspektor
Bogart
Reignbeau (pronounced: Rainbow)
Freedom
Rocket 
Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q. Hewson
Kyd
Racer
Destry
Rebel
Rogue
Audio Science
Sage Moonblood
And of course...the infamous Apple.

Yes...you guessed it! You’d be in Hollywood! If everyone listed here went to the same school at the same time, this would be the graduation list of children of the rich and famous. Nothing life or death, for sure, but an interesting study of the celebrity mind nonetheless. And I admit, a good chuckle.

I will break the rule here and mention just one surname: actor Rob Morrow named his daughter Tu. As in Tu Morrow

It must be a medical condition. Some people are just born without the DumbAssIdea gland that monitors ones judgment. It is usually located directly behind the Pituitary gland.

I don’t know...it just seems to me that childhood can be hard enough for some kids without the added stress of a cocaine-inspired moniker. Would you name your kid ‘Fire’? How could you ever call his name out loud without causing widespread panic?

*NOTE- I wave all responsibility for influencing any celebrity who now names their child ‘Fire’. If you have issues with this, call my lawyer. Her name  Krook Skumsucker Brandt. She's in the Yellow Pages.

CELEBRITY NAME GAME

I notice weird things.

They just pop out at me. For example: celebrity names.

When there was massive coverage a few years back about the birth of Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri, everyone was going mad trying to figure out what her name meant and how they chose it. Such a mystery!

Suri comes from the four middle letters of  the name ‘Cruise’. Seemed a bit obvious to me but when I mentioned it to a journalist online, he was stunned and printed my ‘clever observation’ in his next column.

I had noticed the same phenomenon in other famous people. Their names were actually in their surnames:

  • Uma Thurman
  • Elliot Gould (real name Goldstein: short an L but what the hell)
  • Tom Cruise Mapother III
  • Donny Osmond (Don is in there!)
  • Marshal Mathers a.k.a Eminem (I wonder if his friends called him Marsh as a kid? It would explain a lot of his angst)
  • Pia Zadora (real name Schipani)
  • *Unless I am getting paid to do it, I won’t spend time digging for more...

So...this begs the question, “Is this a key to their success? A lucky charm that brought them fame and fortune?”

If so, I would like you to now call me ‘Buch’. My maiden name was Buchy.

And NO, Chubby won’t work. I am short a B.

Thank God.